Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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