Im at strip club and am horny
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
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is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
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They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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