May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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