saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
