Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap