Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp. http://tfl.nu/6snw
  Replies (22) Good night (3079) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding http://tfl.nu/mxxu
  Replies (19) Good night (3220) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie. http://tfl.nu/22gj
  Replies (37) Good night (826) Bad night (2703)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high? http://tfl.nu/v2jv
  Replies (29) Good night (4097) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight http://tfl.nu/zwys
  Replies (18) Good night (826) Bad night (3730)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at. http://tfl.nu/8pgv
  Replies (8) Good night (901) Bad night (4305)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches. http://tfl.nu/de5z
  Replies (16) Good night (681) Bad night (3869)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"? (1-954): Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards. http://tfl.nu/k91c
  Replies (72) Good night (10895) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook. (231): i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment. http://tfl.nu/fvdt
  Replies (41) Good night (2041) Bad night (5478)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky. http://tfl.nu/b98l
  Replies (21) Good night (807) Bad night (3823)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile http://tfl.nu/t48c
  Replies (5) Good night (2355) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner. http://tfl.nu/1na9
  Replies (8) Good night (2190) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate. http://tfl.nu/t4f1
  Replies (11) Good night (828) Bad night (3491)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out. http://tfl.nu/7070
  Replies (5) Good night (1191) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song http://tfl.nu/a9l9
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (411)

Randomize