remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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