As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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