Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
