no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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