i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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