She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Success! We fucked roommates!
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