Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
