Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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