he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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