The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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