She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
