He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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