apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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