Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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