Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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