you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize