LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
