A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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