Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i believe in u and ur pee
I am mentally ready for anal.
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