I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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