Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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