yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
