he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
