even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
