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Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
