new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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