Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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