Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
