I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
