Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
