did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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