I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have already put on my inside pants.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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