Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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