the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
