Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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