You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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