the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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