Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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