I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
