His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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