I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
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Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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