do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
