The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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