I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
