K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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