I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We need to rekindle our bromance
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
