It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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