i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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