when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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