took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
