Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
