if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize