like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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