dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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