All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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